[visitor@saltorn Creation]$ cat articlecontent
For who knows what time now, I delete all the things I wrote down. It's some sort of incessant discontent with my own creations. At the moment of creation, being focused on the process rather than the creation itself, I fail to notice it. However, coming back days after to take a look at it, I can not but think how it is simply lacking. Perhaps I'm a perfectionist.
We all have some things we did and wrote ages ago, that when looked back on give us chills and make us cringe with shame and embarassment. That is naturally because people change. You change your opinions, outlooks, your maturity changes, you experience different things which modify how you think. And then looking back on what you might have written before, you do not see yourself anymore. You know it was you who wrote it, but you are mentally not the same person as back then. For what is it that makes up a person other than their mentality, opinions, presumptions and experiences? That results in clashing concepts in your head, because you both did and did not write it. Perhaps the same thing happens to me, other than the that fact I experience it couple of days after the creation.
In the end, people like me who strive for perfection are simply destined to forever be discontent with anything they achieve in this imperfect world of ours. Nonetheless, I look at that as a good thing. People need a driving force, and someone who strives for perfection will always have something to work towards. Perfection is graspable enough that it feels like it's dangling in front of your nose, yet unachievable allowing you to never run out of fuel. In fact, humanity has always created concepts such as those to drive them forward. Religion, happiness, morals, all things not quite palpable but which feel real enough for humanity to remain hopeful.
In the end, I simply am not a practical person.